By Porkrinds Stiles (Translated by Torry Stiles) (Dear readers – Longtime followers of this column … that would be you, Mom … will remember my
Tag: Torry’s Top Ten
TOP TEN SUGGESTIONS FOR THE UP-AND-COMING TOP TEN LIST WRITER
By Torry Stiles 10. Never take yourself too seriously. Remember: your wife may love you but she still thinks you’re an idiot. 9. Never be
TOP TEN PLANS FOR THE OLD GREENWOOD MIDDLE SCHOOL … REJECTED
By Torry Stiles 10. Mrs. Curl Ice Cream Pavilion. Finally a place big enough for the summer crowd … and my own personal express lane.
TOP TEN THINGS NOT UNCOVERED BY THE MUELLER INVESTIGATION
By Torry Stiles 10. Definitive proof of illegal collusion with Russia. I still want them to take another look at Albania. I never trusted them
TOP TEN SIGNS SPRING IS COMING TO THE SOUTHSIDE
By Torry Stiles 10. Talk at work is less about the Colts and more about Zero Turn Radius mowers. 9. You have to remind your
TOP TEN REASONS YOU SHOULD VISIT YOUR LOCAL ANIMAL SHELTER
By Torry Stiles 10. It smells nicer than the average men’s locker room. 9. The staff lets you touch the merchandise all you want, unlike
TOP TEN RESPONSES TO THE ‘JUGHANDLE ROUNDABOUT’ IN GREEWNOOD
By Torry Stiles 10. The original designer: “I tossed that in there as a joke. Never thought they’d think I meant it.” 9. Anonymous Greenwood council member:
TOP TEN SANTA CLAUS COMPLAINTS THIS YEAR
By Torry Stiles 10. I got so-called psychologists telling me I have to drop the whole naughty or nice thing. “Everyone should get a present.” Sheesh.
TOP TEN REJECTED TOP TEN LISTS OF 2018
By Torry Stiles 10. Top Ten ways to get kicked out of Long’s Donuts. [“Number 4. Can I just lick the counter for a nickel?”] 9. Top