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By Torry Stiles

10. Definitive proof of illegal collusion with Russia. I still want them to take another look at Albania. I never trusted them even if they do make great gummy bears. … Oh, wait. That’s Albanese. … Never mind.

9. The secret recipe for Coffee Junkiez’s White Lightning.

8. A way to wipe the grins off of the faces of the Fox News anchors.

7. My car keys. They looked everywhere, you’d think they would’ve found them by now. I’ll check my other coat as soon as the FBI is done with it.

6. Stormy Daniels’ career plans that involve her being clothed.

5. The date for the next Doobie Brothers Farewell Tour.

4. Another trailer for the Avengers movie.

3. The secret recipe for the hobo stew at Jimmy’s Diner.

2. The last opportunity for Hillary Clinton to blame someone else.

1.That “smoking gun” everybody talks about. However they did find a few dribbly pea shooters?

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