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By Torry Stiles    

10. Top Ten ways to get kicked out of Long’s Donuts. [“Number 4. Can I just lick the counter for a nickel?”]

9. Top Ten reasons I’m not The Southside Times food critic.

8. Top Ten wrong responses to the Beech Grove Police during a traffic stop. [“Number 1. Don’t you know who I am? I’m Torry Stiles!”]

7. Top Ten bad ways to stop panhandling. [“Number 9. Put them on the city/county council.”]

6. Top Ten rejected nicknames on the newest police reality shows. [“Number 1. Crystal Methison.”]

5. Top Nine Math Mistakes.

4. Top Ten new columnist collaborations for The Southside Times. [“Top Ten Haunted Health Food Stores.”]

3. Top Ten crimes Brett Kavanaugh was not accused of committing. [“Number 3. Backing into a parking spot to keep the cops from seeing his license plate.”]

2. Top Ten Favorite Tide Pod recipes.

1. Top Ten excuses given for the 2018 “pothole epidemic.” [“Number 7. Indianapolis Mayor Joe Hogsett is trying to appeal to the off-roading crowd.”]

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