By Torry Stiles
(Dear readers – I have held a variety of jobs over the years. I’ve been a newspaper writer, a racing announcer, truck driver, bathtub maker and several other positions. One of my more interesting gigs has been as a repo man.)
10. Some companies require that the repo man collect the debtor’s personal property from the vehicle. There’s a lot of hand sanitizer involved.
9. Repoing cars requires investigative skills, diligent tracking talent and the ability to tolerate being cussed out a lot.
8. In times of trouble most people will go home to Mom. Some moms will turn you in in a heartbeat if you kick her car out of her garage to hide yours.
7. The repo man doesn’t discriminate. He doesn’t care what color you or your car are.
6. Driving off the repo man’s wrecker is a bad idea but looks really cool on YouTube or Instagram. Make sure you have a buddy ready to record.
5. If you have enough money to bribe the repo man then you have enough to pay off your car. Save your breath.
4. Sleeping in your car does not make it your home so, no, he doesn’t have to give you an eviction notice.
3. That bracelet on your ankle tells me you don’t need this car anyways.
2. You’re driving a 1998 Toyota Tercel with plastic on the windows. I think I’m doing us both a favor.
1.Strangely, some folks who cannot afford a car payment can manage to afford an amazing collection of shoes, hair extensions and weed.