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By Torry Stiles

(Dear readers: as discussed last week. The kids taught me a thing or two.)

  1. “Goochy” means good. “Dookie” means bad. “Dookie” has several other uses and none of them are printable.
  2. Kids learn from the movies and TV. This being said or is understandable that think Morgan Freeman is the president of the United States.
  3. Fifth-grade boys claim they cannot control their bodily functions unless they want to demonstrate the ability to belch and pass gas on command.
  4. To a road-weary fifth-grader every limestone building is the Lincoln Memorial. This includes post offices and public restrooms.
  5. The most common phrase heard is not, “I have to go to the bathroom,” but, “Let me use your charger.”
  6. You can talk about bloody battles, war and the burning of Washington all you want and the kids yawn but spot a squirrel pooping and they go nuts.
  7. It is perfectly fine to snap a picture of the statue of Franklin Delano Roosevelt but it is wrong to yank on his hand saying, “Pull my finger!”
  8. Eighty degrees and a long walk ahead: I don’t know … maybe wearing your brand new hooded sweatshirt is a bad idea, son.
  9. Apparently Donald Trump gas-bombed a bunch of people. Well, him or the Syrians, they weren’t too sure about this.
  10. Fifth-grade boys are like fish: they are tough to catch and smell bad when left out in the sun.

Bonus Top Ten item (just uttered on the bus): “…. You know how we studied that the Revolutionary War was between us, the British and the New England Patriots? …”

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