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TOP TEN THINGS I LEARNED AT THE LIVESTOCK AUCTION

TOP TEN THINGS I LEARNED AT THE LIVESTOCK AUCTION

By Torry Stiles

(Dear readers – I made a trip to the Southside of Franklin to check out the Johnson County Sales Pavilion. They hold weekly auctions there of miscellaneous goods and livestock. Give it a look sometime.)

(Submitted photo)

10. The smell is there as a reminder that you’re not here buying somebody’s Beanie Babies collection. You have to respect a business that has been around so long it has a three-digit phone number.

9. You have to respect a business that has been around so long it has a three-digit phone number.

8. Fortunately for us all, my wife was there to keep me from buying another pig or three. However, I did have to hold her hands down when the lambs were sold.

7. The fact that they sell tenderloins and hot dogs serves as a reminder of where last week’s sale ended up.

6. The auctioneer repeatedly hollered, “Check out those big heifers!” and not a single woman was insulted.

5. I like the idea that I can show up in my work clothes and be over-dressed for the occasion.

4. As Bob is my witness: there was a woman in the audience with her pet lamb … in a diaper … and a onesie … the lamb, not the woman. I was so jealous. …. Because of the lamb, not because I wanted to wear a diaper.

3. Folks in the city pay big bucks for a pair of jeans as worn out and tattered as these folks wear as their daily uniform. If these folks ever need a new car all they have to do is take their laundry to Broad Ripple and sell it.

2. When you watch a 100-pound middle-school kid boss around a 1,000-pound bull, you realize that we are the top of the food chain.

1. It’s a little scary when you realize at the end of the sale you don’t notice the smell.

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