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By Torry Stiles

10. People who miss the big dumpster on my block encounter others with similar bad aim on their next visit to a public restroom.

9. People who sprawl across three seats in the movie theater encounter a very friendly kid with sticky fingers in the seat behind them.

8. The next government handout comes first out of the politicians’ paychecks.

7. A cop sitting right behind the jerk who honks as soon as the light turns green.

6. A personal noogie from Mark Zuckerberg for people who post those “Facebook will give one dollar for every ‘Like’ on this post.”

5. Computer failure on the next store that closes their cashiers and forces everyone to the self-checkout lanes.

4. Naked photos of the grandmothers of people who grab your phone and just start scrolling through your photos.

3. 24/7 with a dozen “boys just being boys” for the next goober who dismisses his kid’s bad behavior by saying, “boys will be boys.”

2. Fleas for everyone who fails to send a donation of food or dollars to the Southside Animal Shelter this week.

1.The doofus down the street who has been setting off his fireworks every night for the past week will finally earn the nickname “short fuse,” or better yet, “stumpy.”

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