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Top 10 ways you blew the first date

Top 10 ways you blew the first date

By Torry Stiles

10. “I’m out here waiting. You said you’d pick me up at 6 p.m.”

“Who is this?”

9. “How will I know which one is you?”

“I’ll be out front with a cardboard sign.”

“I’m out front now, and the only guy with a cardboard sign is the guy standing in the median.”

“Hello.”

8. “I’m here for our date.”

“I’m upstairs.”

“But this is the county courthouse. I don’t know you well enough to stand before the judge yet.”

“You’ll be fine. I need $500 to make bail. Third floor.”

7. “This is my sweet Mister Fluffykins. He doesn’t like you. You bleed too much.”

6. “Hello. This is Josh. We had a date.”

“Who’s that with you?”

“That’s my mom. Wouldn’t give me the money unless I brought her.”

5. “You’re a lot skinnier on the internet.”

4. “Is this your car?”

“For now. Keep an eye out for cops, and we’ll be fine.”

3. “Wow, you live in a nice neighborhood.”

“My husband has a great job.”

2. “You’re not, like, one of those¬†book-reading smart girls, are you?”

1.”I’m hungry! Whatcha got to eat?”

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