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By Torry Stiles

(Dear readers: The missus and I spent last weekend exploring parts of southwestern Indiana. Here are a few observations.)

10. If the counter help at the little sandwich shop in Bloomington are red-eyed and smelling like an Australian grass fire it is probably best that you stay close to your food while it’s made.

9. Folks from Loogootee don’t appreciate being called, “Loogies.”

8. In a world filled with smart phones and GPS units it is practically impossible to get lost. It seems I am an over-achiever.

7. People from French Lick already know that Larry Bird grew up there and roll their eyes at you when you try to explain it to them.

6. Folks at the bed & breakfast never appreciate it when guests try to redecorate. How was I supposed to know that replastering would be so hard?

5. The wife doesn’t like curvy, hilly roads with all sorts of twists, turns, ups and downs. I seem to be highly skilled at finding the route most loaded with those. …. Oops.

4. The fancy hotel in West Baden is pretty classy. I almost felt guilty wearing my favorite Speedrome shirt until I spotted another guest sporting a Steve Kinser jacket.

3. On the campus of Vincennes University sits the Red Skelton museum. Clem Kadiddlehopper is practically a professor at the place.

2. You can revel in the wonders of the Circle of Life. Distracted tourists create roadkill. Vultures circle the roadkill distracting drivers who create more roadkill.

1.From Vincennes, a 30-second drive across a bridge takes you to Illinois, where you can play slot machines in diners and buy marijuana legally. When I was growing up, I thought the ultimate thrill was buying some bottle rockets.

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