By Torry Stiles
10. “Grab an electric cart! We’re having a jousting tournament in the Garden Department!”
9. “I just scanned two cartloads of groceries. I think I should get an employee discount.”
8. “I don’t work here. I found this vest in the parking lot. How can I help you?”
7. “Ya see, ya grab the pound of turkey bacon and the ribeye in the same hand. Scan the bacon. Drop the ribeye in the bag. Go back to the cart with the turkey bacon and grab another ribeye. Repeat. Just don’t get stupid and try it with a whole ham.
6. “We’re building a fort in house goods. Bring s’mores.”
5. “The stockers love it when you rearrange the shelves. Gives them job security. Just leave the ice cream here in Sporting Goods.”
4. “I don’t think it’s a felony if I steal it from your cart before you pay for it and run out the door. Distract the greeter.”
3. “You should’ve had them do a spell check on those tattoos.”
2. “So you people really eat that stuff?”
1.“I hear you Beech Grove folks are a bunch of wussies.”
