By Torry Stiles
10. Every other car on the block was broken into but they left $20 on your driver’s seat.
9. Your dog has been wandering over to the neighbor’s house for dinner.
8. You have the cleanest couch ever after all the times you’ve dug through the cushions looking for change.
7. On payday you splurge for the “good” chicken baloney.
6. You’ve stopped smoking the devil’s lettuce because you can’t afford the munchies afterward.
5. You’re on a first-name basis with the repo man and he knows the car keys are right there on the hook by the door.
4. You’ve upgraded to the afternoon drivetime slot on the median at Stop 11 and Madison Avenue.
3. A 75% increase in income is still nothing because 75% of nothing is still nothing.
2. You put plastic over the plastic over your windows.
1. “He’s living in a shed but it’s a nice shed.”