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Top 10 signs my brain is not the one in charge around here

Top 10 signs my brain is not the one in charge around here

By Torry Stiles

10. Every week I tell myself I’m going keep a journal of funny Top 10 ideas, and every week I kick myself for all the funny stuff I forgot to write down.

9. While rarely violent, my arguments with household appliances can often be quite heated. Last week I was ready to throw hands with a toaster.

8. I have a bad habit of ending phone calls with, “Love ya. Bye-bye.” Very awkward when talking to the bank or utility companies.

7.  If 10 people say something tastes nasty I have to take a chance at being the 11th.

6. Just because your dog bites doesn’t mean I don’t want to pet it.

5. When someone asks my name I truly struggle to avoid saying, “Puddin’ Tame.”

4. Even when in the car by myself I must “moo” when I drive past cows.

3.  I heard the car doors lock as I stepped away, but I still hit the fob two or three more times to be sure.

2.  When I leave for work in the morning I tell the dogs what time I’ll be home.

1.My brain knows that the chocolate-hazelnut spread is about as healthy as cake frosting, but I still tell myself that it’s got nuts in it so it must be good for me.

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