By Torry Stiles
10. “If you went to Washington to fix the government and 10 years later you ain’t done it then maybe you ain’t that good at your job.”
9. “I could make a joke about this heat being due to all the hot air from Washington but that’d be too easy and y’all expect better than that from me.”
8. “I had a perfectly good joke for this spot, but I plumb forgot and left it at home. If y’all could laugh right now the folks in the office wouldn’t know the difference.”
7. “I kinda feel bad for King Charles over in England. He’s never held a job before and now he’s stuck with one where he can’t get a promotion.”
6. “My little nephew got him one of those electronic Switch game thingamabobs. Plays it all the time. Won’t put it away. I think the only way we’ll get that Switch from him is to take a switch to him.”
5. “I’ve been told I need to make my little talks more modern and use some rougher language. Well, folks, I know some language that would curl the hair of a Marine Corps sergeant, but I don’t think folks need that to have a good time.”
4. “The Democrats have a plan to win the White House again and the most important of it is to keep their front-runner hidden in the back.”
3. “It were so hot yesterday my dog just crawled under the porch to get cool and hung out a sign that said, “Bark!”
2. “It must be football season ‘cause all I’m hearin’ is belly-achin’ over what TV channel ain’t got any.”
1.“It seems the Democrats wanna put Trump into jail and the Republicans wanna put Biden into jail. I say we make ‘em both happy and then see where that gets us.”
