By Torry Stiles
10. You argued for 15 minutes that gravy is a condiment and should be free like the catsup.
9. Keep track of what’s in your fridge, and never cook with lumpy milk.
8. Your attempt at pronouncing the French menu has left you ordering fried tractors and apples.
7. This is Olive Garden, and no matter how much your kid screams there are no tacos here.
6. You demanded a meal like your mom used to make, so your wife microwaved some SpaghettiOs and is on the back porch having a beer.
5. The DoorDash guy knows you didn’t tip, and that’s where the other patty on your double-decker went.
4. She calls all the customers “Honey,” and you should never touch the waitress there.
3. This is a sushi bar, and that wasn’t guacamole.
2. The kid at the next table has been to the buffet four times and brought back a handful of pudding each trip.
1.You were here last night for a $50 meal and tipped a McDonald’s coupon for some free fries.
