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Top 10 reasons I didn’t get this week’s Top 10 List done

By Torry Stiles

10. Spent the week helping hang plywood downtown.

9. Dress code violation in The Southside Times office. Had an old Roncalli Rebels shirt. Sent home with a note for my parents.

8. I look like one of the guys who broke into Congress last week and I’ve been hiding out in the shed.

7. Ran around all week hiding my MAGA and Trump stuff before the Purge.

6. Can’t concentrate because I’m so worried about Kim and Kanye.

5. Editor said if this week’s was as bad as last week’s then she’s going to smack me. I’ve been hiding out in the shed.

4. Got my stimulus check and I’m drowning in scratchers.

3. Didn’t tip my Door Dash guy. There’s a bag of burgers on my roof and I’m hiding in the shed.

2. Was up all night studying for the COVID test.

1. Pawned my computer and bet big on the Browns last week. Hiding from my wife in my shed.

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