By Torry Stiles
10. Ask if she REALLY should eat that second piece of pie.
9. Questioning the family policy regarding Santa Claus.
8. Failing to notice that he/she is wearing an entry to an ugly sweater contest and not a legitimate costume decision.
7. Visiting the Jewish parents and blowing out those candles.
6. Throwing shade on your date’s opinion of cranberry sauce.
5. Gifting anything that had been “un-monogrammed” from the ex’s closet.
4. Bringing half a bag of Doritos to the family pitch-in. Not the Cool Ranch ones, even.
3. Pointing out that the mayor was right in Jim Carrey’s Grinch movie and that the Home Alone kid would be in CPS if this was real.
2. He pays for your tattoo. You have your old boyfriend’s name put on.
1. Admitting that the horse-and-buggy romantic ride is because your license got suspended.
