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Top 10 comments from the elf on a shelf

By Torry Stiles

10.  “Y’all oughta dust up here once in a while.”

9. “Can we do some more stuff with the Barbie dolls?”

8. “I wouldn’t be too worried about Santa if I were you. The Feds are gonna wanna ask you a few questions, however.”

7. “Your 17-year-old is getting popular and half the vodka in the house is water.”

6. Elf. ELF! E. L. F. We don’t use the term, ‘fairy,’ any more.”

5. “Stop blaming the dog. Your little Johnny is having some serious issues with his potty training.”

4. “Seriously. Can we do, like, a swimming pool scene with Barbie? No Ken, please.”

3. “You might want to get the new baby’s DNA tested. Just sayin’.”

2. “Santa’s Naughty List grew a lot this year.”

1. “Twenty bucks and I won’t tell your mom.”

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