By Torry Stiles
10. The original designer: “I tossed that in there as a joke. Never thought they’d think I meant it.”
9. Anonymous Greenwood council member: “I thought we were voting on another round of drinks. Oh, my God. Are you recording this?”
8. Greenwood Street Commissioner: “As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.”
7. The Greenwood Police: “We made our ticket quota the first week.”
6. The kids: “Oooooo … Daddy said the ‘F’ word.”
5. My talking GPS: “You’re on your own here, boss.”
4. Carmel, Indiana: “We told you Greenwood would screw it up.”
3. Me: “I should’ve just stayed on 31.”
2. My wife: “I told you to stay on 31.”
1. The design team: “We can neither confirm nor deny that alcohol may have been involved.”
