By Torry Stiles
10. “When I was in grade school and it got cold, we didn’t get the day off. We just had to walk to school faster and bring some extra firewood with us.”
9. “Can you imagine where you’d all be if my Indian ancestors bought into that idea of a wall to keep everyone out?”
8. “There’s a plan in Congress to put more taxes on rich people. Seems they ain’t gonna tax ’em on what they got but on what they’re gonna get. This a great time for me to quit working and join the idle rich.”
7. “Some folks say we are electing too many TV celebrities to government. Seems natural to me since a lot of what they do is such a comedy.”
6. “My smart phone isn’t smart enough to keep me from saying stupid things.”
5. “We called President Coolidge ‘Silent Cal’ because he shared words like they were gold. President Teddy Roosevelt always said to, ‘ Speak softly and carry a big stick.’ Franklin Roosevelt limited himself to being on the radio just once a week. Our Mr. Trump should learn that sometimes you don’t have to talk a lot to say a lot.”
4. “It was so cold this week I saw a U. S. Senator walking down the street cussing up a storm. Seems it was too cold for him to stick his hands into anyone else’s pockets.”
3. “I hear another one of those big chain stores is going bankrupt. They say it’s all the folks who shop at home from the catalog. So does that mean Sears needs to bring back their catalog to survive? They ain’t competin’ with corn husks anymore.”
2. “The big lesson we all learned from that government shutdown is that there’s a lot of government we could shut down and never notice it was ever open in the first place.”“The big lesson we all learned from that government shutdown is that there’s a lot of government we could shut down and never notice it was ever open in the first place.”
1. “Used to be that if a politician wanted to be president all we asked was that they proved they could run the country. Now we are picking folks just ’cause they can run their mouths.”
