Top 10 worst ways to spice up Valentine’s Day

By Torry Stiles

10. Life-sized tattoo of your sweetie.

9. A quiet evening at home watching The Burning Bed.

8. Candlelight dinner because you forgot to pay the light bill.

7. Writing a heartfelt letter explaining why he’s better than most of your old boyfriends.

6. Separate vacation cruises.

5. Her own bottle of your mom’s favorite perfume.

4. Offering to renew your vows but only after consultation with a lawyer.

3. Boudoir photos from Chuck E. Cheese.

2.  Send an anonymous bouquet to the wife of someone you don’t like. Include the message, “Does he know, yet?”

1.Announce you’re spending the day with your true love. Call her from your mom’s house.

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