By Torry Stiles
10. “Price of gasoline is so high I think I’d better keep my horse. An’ the price of meat is so high I think I better keep a close eye on ‘im, too.”
9. “That Putin fella may have bit off a bit more than he could chew in the Ukraine. Us Americans find it hard to pronounce the names over there, but Mr. Putin is finding it hard to swallow.”
8. “I’ve learned that using the word, ‘Trump,’ can be awful messy. Somes folks start droolin’ an’ others get spittin’ mad.”
7. “All them government workers have been workin’ from home for so long that they ain’t goin’ back. They found out they can not do their job from home a lot more comfortably than they couldn’t from the office.”
6. “Our Mr. Biden says he’ll do anything to get us the oil we need so long as we don’t pump it ourselves.”
5. “I got one of those Alexa things at the house but I’m afraid to use it ‘cause I don’t want my wife to think I’m talking to other women.”
4. “Somebody snuck out with a Supreme Court judge’s notes the other day. Betcha they’re gonna be a lot more careful next time. Might put it in an envelope or somethin’.”
3. “Y’all can celebrate one thing, though. The Colts and Pacers haven’t lost any games in over a month.”
2. “Seems folks up in Indianapolis can’t stop shootin’ at one another. It’s getting so bad the Chicago gangsters won’t visit without police protection.”
1.“Mama says the shelves at the stores are so empty she don’t wanna shop any more ‘cause there ain’t nothin’ to keep her from makin’ up her mind decidin’ what to get.”
