By Torry Stiles
10. It’s still on back order from last year.
9. The Christmas movies on the Hallmark channel 24/7 have you all messed up.
8. The new McDonald’s ice cream treat is still stuck in its broken ice cream machine.
7. You’ve pulled the Christmas decorations out and first thing out of the box was $200 worth of holiday themed masks, hand sanitizers and PPE kits.
6. You just got visited by a group of carolers who announced they take Cash App and Venmo.
5. The kids have a new school Christmas play but since they’ve been e-learning it’s all a big Zoom party.
4. Aunt Fern is hosting Christmas this year. She’s virulently vegan and keeps her hopes alive for “Bernie in 2024.”
3. No matter how hard you try you just can’t make an Amazon gift card look Christmas-y.
2. Half of your tree decorations are tributes to TV shows that were cancelled.
1. They cleaned up all the old movies to fit the times and now Rudolph is over in five minutes.
