By Torry Stiles
(Dear readers – I received my summons to serve on a Marion County jury a few weeks back. I was really looking forward to the $15 they offered and a shot at some validated parking. Alas, it was not to be as I checked in this evening as ordered only to discover I was not needed. I have a few thoughts about that. …)
10. Should never have offered to put my vote up for bid on Facebook Marketplace.
9. Dress code specifically forbid biker jackets and flip-flops. I ain’t dressing down for nobody.
8. A quick review of what I had been guilty of in the past made me realize that I might not be the most objective person in the room.
7. The last time I served I kept objecting to stuff and demanding a sidebar conference.
6. I should never have confessed that I was setting my ring tone to the Perry Mason-themed music.
5. Somebody must have told the court about one of my old lists: Top 10 reasons to bring back thumbscrews and whips.
4. They recommend you pack your own lunch, and I stated I was gonna grill out.
3. I asked about what the judge was gonna wear under the robe. Hey, I was hoping to match.
2. The IndyStar people ratted me ought because I once wrote a letter to the editor demanding the return of the REAL Herman Hoglebogle.
1.I had offered to bring my own noose.
