By Torry Stiles
10. “The Chinese scientists say it’s a couple of bats with sniffles. We can’t keep folks out for that. How would it look?”
9. “Looks like we’ll have to institute rolling blackouts so let’s outlaw gasoline cars.”
8. “Forget those noisy airplanes! Zeppelins are the future of global travel.”
7. “Good news! I know I messed up hiring O. J. Simpson but look, I got Bill Cosby signed to replace him.”
6. “Tell Hunter to take it to the shop. I’m not buying him another computer.”
5. “Mr. Capone, we’re already making millions off bootleg whiskey. I wouldn’t worry about no taxman bothering us.”
4. “Wanna see my Menudo tattoo?”
3. “Tell Hillary to stop worrying. There’s no way they’ll vote for that 6-foot Cheeto.”
2. “Icebergs always look bigger at night. We’re fine.”
1.“Now remember, guys, we’re storming the Capitol Building. Keep it dignified. Bill, bring your Viking costume.”
