By Torry Stiles
10. Stage 1, Phase 7: Bringing home a single personal pan pizza when there are other people living there is strongly discouraged.
9. Stage 2, Phase 6: Noogies, Dutch rubs and Indian burns allowed provided gloves are worn.
8. Stage 4, Phase 2: Mothers may resume licking tissues and wiping stains off their kids’ face.
7. Stage 3, Phase 4: Gloves still required to handle food items. Baseball gloves still prohibited.
6. Stage 7, Phase 1: Letting your dog lick the pancake syrup off your face is allowed.
5. Stage 2, Phase 4: References to “Tiger King” are officially old.
4. Stage 5, Phase 2: Baseball players allowed to spit again but only while in uniform.
3. Stage 3, Phase 3: Gatherings of more than 50 people are allowed but only if a Dale Earnhardt flag is present.
2. Stage 4, Phase 1: Everybody must start wearing real pants again.
1.Stage 5, Phase 7: With everybody back to work “non-essential workers” schedule their vacations.
