By Torry Stiles
10. Those starving kids in Africa don’t want Brussels sprouts either.
9. Mom really does have a favorite child, but it’s one of the neighbor kids down the street.
8. That one teacher in seventh grade really did hate your guts.
7. Pretty much the whole family agreed you were one butt-ugly baby.
6. Those night classes your daddy was taking were not to be an accountant but to get out of a DUI.
5. We routinely refill the boxes of the name brand cereal with the generic stuff you claim you hate.
4. Disney World wasn’t closed that last time we were in Florida. Your father blew the Disney fund buying pull-tabs at the Eagle Lodge the week before.
3. Uncle Billy isn’t working on an oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico. He’s got another three years to serve in Michigan City.
2. The Tooth Fairy didn’t get lost in a blizzard. Your dad drank your molar money at the Moose Lodge that night.
1.You didn’t have Joey the hamster for six years. Those were seven different hamsters we bought to replace the ones the cat ate. Did you really believe the story that hamsters often change colors?
